The Messiness of Relationship...Why Some People Like Rules

¹For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. ²Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? ³But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. ⁴For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.

⁵Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said,

"Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired,
but a body have you prepared for me;
⁶in burnt offerings and sin offerings
you have taken no pleasure.
⁷Then I said, 'Behold, I have come to do your will, O God,
as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.'"

⁸When he said above, "You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings" (these are offered according to the law), ⁹then he added, "Behold, I have come to do your will." He does away with the first in order to establish the second. ¹⁰And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.- Hebrews 10- ESV

From the time we are teenagers, relationships are a very scary thing. I still remember making the phone call for my first date, and getting shot down. It's that innate fear of rejection of not being chosen, or affirmed, or good enough that powers so many of us to rule based religion, instead of relationship. And it's pretty much everywhere you go in the Christian church today. We sell books and curriculum about it. We fill conferences with it. And we preach it at church because it's easy and measurable. The problem is it's wrong.

Now before you quit reading in disgust, I do believe a person who follows Jesus looks different, acts different, works different, and is completely, wholly, and utterly changed. (2 Corinthians 5:17- new creation) The problem is we want to decide what the changes are, how fast they should happen, and most of all determine which ones are the most important. So we quantify, analyze, methodize, and harmonize a relationship with Jesus into a religion of rules and policies- all lifted straight from the Bible of course- to land at the brass ring- "holiness."

The problem is the Bible has a lot to say about our pathetic attempts at holiness. It calls them rags- filthy rags as a matter of fact- and the level of filth is pretty nasty- I'll leave it to your imagination. So why all of the focus on creating holiness? Because we are scared of a relationship with God.

See a relationship is messy. There is a level of loss of control. We do not always know quite how we are doing in a relationship. There can be surprises. And there is a level of fear that is associated with a relationship. Most of us have messed one up by doing something stupid in the past. And I'm convinced, that many of us, think we're going to screw this one up as well. That somehow or another we will have to demonstrate to God how good we have been and how He has to take us back. But that's not the story Jesus tells.

The story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 is often told as a story of justification (the moment of salvation) but there is a problem with that telling- the prodigal is already a son. He is in the family. He just leaves. He seemingly messes up the relationship. He does the unthinkable and goes off on his own leaving his Father behind. But it's when he comes back, that we see how relationship with God is going to work. He is welcomed, celebrated, restored.

See, when we have a relationship with Jesus things get messy. We make mistakes, but we do not stay in them. God calls us back and out of them to Him- where we belong. That's the reason why rules based religion- and NP (see previous post)- are so dangerous. It's not just that reducing following Jesus to a check list is bad- it's also that you can keep the rules and never be in the family- and fit right in. In fact, the only way to find these poor misguided people is to question there special rules in light of scripture and watch their reaction or to watch how they treat people who do not follow their rules. That's what Jesus did to the Pharisees and He revealed their hearts- they loved their rules not God.

Now I know some of you are asking, "So does that mean I can do anything I want?" I would say, that's the wrong question. If you are a follower of Jesus, the question you ask is "Can the thing I am doing please God? Is this permissible for me? Does this violate Scripture?" The freedom of a relationship is not a freedom to do harm, but to do good. To nurture and build the relationship- not to do everything you can to tear it apart. Let me leave you with this passage from Paul on the liberty we have in our relationship with Jesus from Galatians 5:

¹³You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. ¹⁴The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." ¹⁵If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

¹⁶So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ¹⁷For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under

¹⁹The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. ²⁵Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.